A Day of Firsts

For many years, people who hadn't seen me for awhile would always ask about my knees. No wonder -- my mood and general outlook on life have, since I was about nine, been influenced by the degree of pain in either or both knees. My MS diagnosis in 2004 changed the question for awhile, but, compared with the knee issue, the MS has been a cakewalk, especially in the last couple of years when the disease has been so well managed.

The knee surgery has taught me the meaning of the French expression "se regarder le nombril". Literally, it means "to look at one's belly button". In the last three weeks, the world has revolved around ME! Bob has brought me most of my meals and anticipated virtually all of my needs. What was once a novel privilege now almost seems like a right. I am shocked and disappointed in myself. Too much belly button gazing.

Today I was feeling a little fractious, anxious to go to the "next stage". Bob and I stopped at Tousley Motorsports to look at this week's motorcyle purchase: it's a silver 2003 Honda GoldWing 1800 -- a pretty bike that he has been coveting for a while. Then, because Bob's snowblower is on its last legs and we are expecting more snow tomorrow, we stopped at Fleet Farm to look at the few machines that are still in stock at the end of the season. I must have walked 400 hundred years in that store, looking for the snowblowers. For me, the experience was very liberating.

We looked at more snowblowers at Sears and probably found the right machine -- strong enough to do the job and not too heavy to push up and down the steps that lead from the sidewalk to our house. Not an impulse buyer, Bob wants to look at more snowblowers tomorrow before making a decision.

I was feeling a little tired when we got home, so I rested a little before we went to 5 PM Mass. It's been hard for me to miss church for the last three weeks, but I was surprisingly nervous. Different stairs to navigate. Little kids running around. Slippery floors. Tight pews, except for the one we sat in, behind our usual spot. Still, I was so happy to be there.

In and out of a vehicle five times today! How can I be physically refreshed and mentally tired? Make that exhausted.